beat down tired
i don’t know if it’s the cold dark weather, or the various stressful (vast and various would be more honest of a description) happenings in our lives of late, or the way christmas can just feel overhwelming to get ready for instead of exciting…
but i am so very tired.
so tired, in fact, that i haven’t been writing. or journaling. truth be told, i’m too tired to plug in our christmas lights. not to mention needing to take some pictures of said lights, which in a couple spurts of energy i put up and are now decorating our home in every room in the house except bedrooms! good grief.
so tired, in fact, that i am ordering pizza for dinner tonight. and if you know me, you know this is Not Normal. convenience food? takeout food? who is this woman i have become? i have been feeling this tired for, oh, two weeks now. but i feel too guilty to just rest. i keep trying to go go go. which just brings me back to beat down tired.
i go to websites like ali and hanna, who would normally inspire me and send me on a creative spree, and i just get overwhelmed. oh how i love going to their websites, and getting re-inspired. ali is doing this amazing daily journal during december and i had wanted to do it along with her. it’s so beautiful! and i can’t, i just can’t fathom it. normally i’d be up for such a challenge and it would be so good for me. but like i said, beat down tired. Not Normal.
tonight our friend heather told me it’s okay to be tired. i’m sure she knew that i didn’t believe her.
the hardest part, i think about being this tired, is feeling so guilty about it. i mean, honestly, who feels guilty about being tired?
so, all that nonsensical rambling to say…i’m sorry i haven’t been here lately. i’m sorry you won’t be getting elaborate handmade gifts this year. and massi, i’m sorry the kitchen’s still dirty and i’m ordering pizza for dinner.