for a moment there i had some clarity…
this morning i had some great thoughts about lent, and what i’ve learned from it despite breaking it (God can work in our weakness, you know all that stuff) and i was thinking abou writing it down…i had it all figured out, how i would share it with you…
and now that i’m at my lunch break and can sit for a minute to share it with you, it’s gone.
it’s been replaced by quite a bad mood indeed. i feel…… i feel like i can’t be myself (this is not a rare feeling, just usually i’m better at ignoring it). i feel like i give and i don’t receive (ok it’s more than a feeling but today…these days….i really do feel like a bit of the “fair share” principle needs to be talked about). i feel overwhelmed and broken and disenchanted and …words i can’t say. i feel like i’m going to go mad sitting at an office desk instead of a studio wall, like i’m going to lose the ability to breath if i don’t get some fresh warm air, like i’m never going to get out of the construction zone phase that is my house.
and i feel like yelling at everyone around me. or, alternatively, crying on their shoulder. depends on the moment they walk up to me, really.
i’m tired, y’all. pray for me.
and please don’t eat all my cake.